Day 19. Discuss Your First Love

Discuss My First Love

Really? Like, seriously? It’s a funny thing how sometimes life wants to mess up with you to spice things up a little bit.

I’ll go quick on my five-year relationship cause I don’t seem to be able to make my relationship look good anymore. It’s not my fault though. It’s all about destiny. Sometimes, life could be really funny.

I met him when I was in high school. He had to repeat a year cause he spent too much time playing computer games. I’m not saying that it was the bad thing. As I retold so many times about it, it suddenly became a joke anyway. We were in a relationship for almost five years, actually it was 4 years and 9 months.

We broke up 3 days before Christmas. He was the one who broke up with me. Since he was the one who broke up with me, it seemed impossible to find out an explainable reason. For almost a month after we broke up, I kept thinking to myself: “There must be something wrong about me that broke us up.” How silly I am.

Today, I left work early cause there was no class in the afternoon. On my way home, I couldn’t believe that I would run into my ex. He was walking hands in hands with a girl.

What can I discuss about my first love now? Great timing, huh? Can’t believe what just happened. It’s not even been a month yet since our break up. Still two more days to go.

There I was, feeling like an idiot. I was being cheated on for God’s know how long. He’s not a liar though. He never lies to me. I can guarantee that. He never lies to me. He just tends to hide the truth. If I don’t ask him about the truth, he would keep it hidden. Still, not really a liar though.

I really don’t want to turn him into some kind of enemy. I tried my best to be friends with him cause it would be idiotic for us to be enemies. However, since I found out this way, I don’t think that he would deserve it any more. It’s a bad day for him to get caught up like that and now he’s on my mean post. Life is fair at some points.

I’ve been questioning myself for the past couple weeks. I really wanted to believe that it was something about me that chased people off. I wanted to take all the blames. Somehow, life doesn’t want me to take it that way. Thanks! That helps. It means quite a lot to me. Things start to make much more sense now.

I feel so disappointed. I was being cheated on by a guy who was just a driver without any college degree. It’s so humiliated…